I survived one week of school!!!! Yeahhh! So far, i guess the thing about the first week is i cant seem to meet anyone from my tutorial group.And as you all would probably know that the ones that you end up closest to, are people from your Tutorial group. And for the first week of shool, i am always rushing off to meet Jeff. I long to join my OG people. And i do sometimes, that is. But i guess the coming week onwards, thing shall take a different turn.

Everyone seems to be rushing off to do their tutorial. Stressed up man. The fact that everyone seems to take more subjects than i do is pressuring enough. Sigh.

Today we went on to do something really amusing. We spent our whole day at Ikea's. Like really stay there. Of cuz it wasnt a ahppy start cuz his frens came down and we accompanied them to shop at Queensway. I dunno. I didnt like the way those girls talk to him. i dont like the way they give me that look. I try hard not to return with a condescendng look already.

I look at his so called best friend and i cant help thinking, what was their real relationship before. No matter how much assurance he told me. No matter how far he tried to distance away. There is this tugging feeling. I had this prowling possessiveness in me. I just wanna hold on to him and glare at them. Weird i know. Jealousy i know. Like when we all went Takashimaya on Friday, she asked Jeff to hold the boxes of chocs for her, and somehow i had this urge to just...flare up i guess.

And the girl who used to depend so much on him? She was there too. I listened to bits of conversation here and there without his knowloedge andi realise things are not really that simple. She has pretty much contact with him. Its this tugging load on me. I wanna like pull her by the collar and demand to know more. Much more. And occasions whereby i am dam bored, i really wanna march off. Never have the time spent with Jeff dragged on so long. Never.

After which we all went down to Ikea. We left away from the rest and went off on our own. trying chairs, armchairs, sofas, beds. ooo. Really really fun. Then we went on to like judge which beds are nicer and stuff. Hahaha. thinking what we are going to buy in the future. Haha time passed fast at these moments. When i really felt that my time was well spent.

Have you ever felt so dependent on people? I dunno why was she so dependent on him in the past. Not that she was his girlfren or wad. But on certain occasions for these few weeks, i really scare myself. i begin to start a pattern of putting everything i have into this basket of hope. Hope that no matter what...things last.


你问我会一起多久?


我不知道大概一辈子够不够?

Well school has started for like 2 days. And i already am trying very hard to get used to it.

The quarrel lasted for 3 long days. And after which, i had to ask him about his previous crushes. i am that busybody. lolx! Its like he didnt wanna dwell on that topic. And we got into up and downs throughout te day. But haha..eventually it all worked out! SO happy. Its like this joy in me that i have never ever felt. I think i am getting all gooey.

Tomorrow my rival in love is coming to Singapore. hahah my gosh, why did i say that? Nahh, its his supposedly best friend who happens to be a girl whom i think resembles me in some way. I dunno. She is coming and might stay in his house My gosh. I cant imagine but yet think of lots of possiblities taht might happen.

What if he sleep walks? What if he wakes and and see her? What if..and what ifs...Arghhhhhh!!!!

She meeting him tomorrow and i have invited myself too. Yeah. I dont give a damm if the possesive monster is working up. I am so going to hang on to him throughout the day. I scare myself thinkign about that. Hahaha. I am that distrustful! My Gosh.

Sigh. School stresses me up. Its like so many thigns to grab on and dissolve in me. Kewl.

Mariah has a great pic. Damm it. She look so good lo. Like so fine!! Chio right???

How do you determine the trust you have in each other?
You might go on and on about how couples should have trust in each other. I guess that no longer works for my case.
I try my very best to show transparency but i guess there are situations in which i left out details. Not on purpose but more of wanna be on a safe side.
And so the cold war went on for like 1 day. Exactly 24 hours. I gave in by acting as if nothing is wrong. Apparently the same problem occurs- i dont apologise.
Not that i dont want to, its just that i dont really know how to start apologising. Awkward ya know?

First day of actual lectures. I slept throught the Life Science one. The Lecturer as from India and he has this extermly draggy voice. =/ Sigh*

Watched 'The Island' today. Its been quite awhile since we last went to a movie. ok its just less than a month. Haha there aint much to do in little Singapore you see. Anyway its this really nice movie with lots of scienctific stuff and all about DNA and gruesome scenes that makes you reconsider about cloning. Not that i support cloning anyway...

Took lots of pictures! Shall scan it...and it was real fun. I almost forgot the fun-ness of taking pic with Jeff.

Today is meet my exes day. Weird!!!! I saw Kean in Bugis while i was with Jeff. Wanted to do a proper introduction- manners ma. But the scene flew by too fast due to my shock. Haha. Then after church, i went down to my granma's place for supper. the nearby coffeeshop and i saw Ben!! Haha. My mum sat down aand she went " today is meet your exes day ar? Wanna ask ZH to come down." Haha...Dots!

100days of happiness. 100days of love. 100days of hope. 100days of bliss.

Raided Charles & keith today. Bought 2 shoes. One absolutely gorgeous and the other one, well, sensible.

Miss Gorgeous Shoes- Slinky, patent leather. Back. Glossy, shiny whatever. High wedge.
Totally breathtakingly omph factor.

Miss sensible shoe - Low wedge, white, criss cross straps. For climbign up and down the hills of NTU.

Orientation talks for the whole day. Scheduled that is. But schedules are meant to be screwed.
My group went ahead and pontank (skip) the last few hours of it and proceeded to pay Kbox a visit.

First few minutes throught the talk, my group kana scolded by the Dean for 'not paying attention'. Wah liao, school havent even started and we are scolded byu the man with the highest authority. In front of 1000 ppl. What a start.
Next few minutes bored the hell off us, so we went for a toilet break which actually landed us at the canteen eating our breakfast cum lunch.
Supposedly 5 more hours of talks, seperatign us into our respective courses. But we decided to all meet up after 15 mins after our Scannign Session.
Scanning session to aim and bio any possible Yandaos or Chiobus. But judging from our crestfallen faces, i gather our scanner failed and crashed.

Still im dreamign about Miss Gorgeous. Im sick. Thinking about my new shoes. Crazy laa..

Time table

Finally the time has come for me to matriculate and get my timetable.
The good...
Monday: Start school at like 130pm.
Wednesday: End school at 1130am.

The bad...
I have 5 hours break in between tutorials on Friday.

Great. Anyway now that the Timetable is out, i can finally put my mind to rest.
Its hard to arrange meet up with unknown timings.
Thank god becuz my tuition student new schedule fits nicely with mine.

Went driving today. Waaa it was well the same old thing. Driving up and down the east side.
I realise i have super slow reaction. Sighh.

Kean got his license.Congrats! Haha he called me today. Always stuns me when he does that. yeah its really weird cuz a few mths back, it would seem so absolutely natural for him to call. For me to sms. But i guess sometimes you cant predict what is ahead until you collide with reality.

Went shopping for the gift. And i walk up and down for an hour tryin to find the perfect one. After much considerations and trips in and out of the same shop, i bought it!!!! Along with its meaningful reason of buying it, i must start to think of what to write about it...

i think the whole major prob is arising again. And i feel being stuck in this whole stupid quabble. It might seem minor at one hand to think so far at this baby stage, but yah i understand what she is feeling, she wants a good future for me. I cant argue with that.
But its really piling pressure on me. Unwanted, unneeded load and burden.
I havent start school yet. What makes her worry about distractions before hand?
I haven gone further in this new phase of life, why does she consider about money, wealth and all materialistic stuff now?
Why the segregation? Why the streotype? Why the prejudice?
I just finished watching " remember the Titans". This show holds great meaning to an everlasting problem on earth. in society. And close to us, we see such segreagation within our tiny muny groups. I see a line between my loved ones.
i am sick of all this thing repeatedly trying to screw me up.

Girls Talk

Met up with the gurls last night. Actually majority of time spent on Singing. Despite my horrible sorethroat, i really am very very tempted by Kbox. Meeting Juan earlier than planned, sinc ei have truckloads of time to spare, i actually suggested to go Kbox and sing to our fill before Meiting comes in. And yup we did. even when there is no dinner yet, we gobbled..down and had refills of tidbits. hey, the tidbits came in small servings alright!

I was brave last night, trying to sing many of powerful singers' songs like that of Coco Lees and Ah-mei. Screaming my head off! I think i almost scared the hell out of the waiters passing by while tryin to perfect my ranges. I didn really succeed because i have a sore throat. Serve me right for wasting my 13 bucks trying to croak out somethign less than perfect.

Anyway, Jeff did come down to send me home. But initially, Meiting was firm in the all girls night out. And fine, i asked him to wait. He had tons of things to do, so it did him good to stay in BK and finish up his work. But i guess Meiting asked me to get him to join us for dinner. I was unsure, because it was just unbelivable. Sorry to think she really that cold hearted when she really aint. =p Anyway we tried to find him in Bk and to no avail. Damm it! Lost for the 4th time!! Arghhhhhh! After a while he came and well we realised..he went Kbox to look for us. Duh*

So the 4 of us went to the food court and had our dinner. Of cuz the topic hovered on from Uni to orientation camp, to somewhat R-rated stuff. wahhaha!!! Actually not so crude la, but basically discussing options and opinons of pre marital..ahem. Im shy so i shall not reveal what ahem means. All you dirty minded ppl out there should know eh?? =p

Surprisingly, some unexpected friends of ours had unexpected answers. Why did my once inoocent pal gone to?? Haha and left me and juan- the super conservatives aunties. loLx. A gro of girls and 1 guy. We just had to ask him that question too. My guy. And well well, i got the answer i expected. Innocent la him! LoLx. It (innocence) has its pros and cons though.

Few years back before we grad from Sec Sch, we actually had this 5 year thingy and everyone in my clique predicted that i am most likely to have a shotgun before anyone does. Insulting leh. But ahem, people, i am so freaking proud to announce that i have downgraded to the position whereby pre marital ahems are a no-no. Big nono!!! So i am off the list. A new ger has taken that nomination. lolx! And i see no point revealing who she is. keke.

Anyway the topic moves on to oral sex which is considered "base 4" . Like base in a baseball game. Homerun is... of cuz without me telling you what it is. Anyway Juan tells of people in her OG that has already reached Base 4 and maybe aiming a homerun..Haha Serious??? Dont think Engin Fac are so open minded. I mean look at my OG. When Esther and I tok about mild things like porn, they scramble away. Oh well...

From Baseball topics, we suddenly start in a topic about a pal's couple quarrel. Despite the dramatic goings, it actually has a serious side to be looked in. and of cuz, apologies cuz i know we shouldnt like tease and get shocked about the drama-mama-ness of it. Its just unimaginable you see. But honestly, we both are awfully concerned and worried eh? We dont wan anything bad to happen to a great pal of ours!

Sob sob *time to drop a couple of tears and say you are touched. .* =p

Quarrels to me are like a every week thingy in the past. I guess i always tell myself, to quarrel brings entertainment. To quarrel means to be able to improve. T quarrel means that you care. But i guess i was wrong. I spent 1 and 1/2 years trying to get my quarrels straight. And in the end i failed. Instead, by the end of the whole broken relationship, i tell myself to shut up and let things act as if they were perfect. It became this chore of trying to keep things happy. being quiet is much better. I think that is when quarreling becaomes this awful burden.

For the new phase in my life, i try my very best to keep everything at bay. Voicing out the problems is one thing we agreed on. And of cuz, instead of trying to the unreasonable person i once was, i try to look things from his perspective. In cases where he goes out with a specific person that i totally dislike, i no longer get mad and furious. Instead i list out the situation and gets him to think in my shoes. Problem solved and i triumph!! haha. Sounds dictator. No, seriosuly, i guess it is this cycle whereby everyone learns and falls at the same time.

I read in a book somewhere that this cycle moves one. Guy A hurt you. you move on hurting Guy B. And so on and so forth. i recall the past and realise that hey, its true. At alternate situations, i play totally different roles. For now, i play the role of trying to be consientious of what goes through his mind. his perfect idea of a relationship which honestly defies my idea of a relationship. thats where the difference lies. he is an idealist. Im a negative kinda person. But what i learnt from a fren in my camp is that, it all lies down to be able to overcome differences and accomodate each other.

After so many ups and downs in the past, i always asked myself: Who is the right one for me and how in the world would i know? I put everythign in Gods hand. but of cuz, to play my part, i must treasure. I must discover the goodness of my partner and also to provide good memories. No matter it last or it dosent, at least you know that the time spent together, it was worth it. And you know that you tried your best.

I guess thats really the crux of it all. There are so many mysteries in such a issue.

Salsa Outing Pics

SALSA OG OUTING

Marina Sq Swensens

Presenting the Girls Of Salsa: Yen, Me, Chris, Agnes, Esther, June

The Guys Of Salsa: Chien & Edwin Kevin, Kenny, Choofei, Keith

Esther & Me: My in-camp Karaoke tok kok 38.

Yen & Me : Forever cute OGL

i am 2 weeks away from school reopening. Time flies. Tomorrow shall be the 3rd month. It wasnt easy because i came into all this with a sceptical mindset. Not trying to be cynical because i believe that different people has a different idea to managing relationships.

We had ups and downs. And i lost count of times when i was driven up to the brink, telling myself that "this is it". But i guess at points in time, there were people that discouraged me. That made me more insisting on trying to make things work. I wasnt like this in the past. People do notice that. I used to think about real negative thoughts and how much the other has let me down, thinkign that i am always right. But for now i guess what i drill into myself is to think and recall only the good stuff, to explore the good side.

Its quite evident when something moves on to a higher ground. More attention is paid to each and every detail. More care and concern is felt and seen. But dont let all these cloud you over, detaching you from reality. I guess in bits of fairy tales, we still need to look ahead and look out from any impending barriers.

[ The bottom line in a healthy relationship, is to go at the pace that is comfortable for you both. If you go at your partner's pace, you might soon find yourself feeling overwhelmed. The pace of the relationship, needs to be talked about, and contemplated. Then, you both know where the relationship is, and it takes the pressure off you. It takes time to create a solid relationship built on trust. Give yourselves this time. ]

After all the time spent in camp, i came out only to realise that i have lost touch with reality. Alot of things has changed around me. Yoshinoya for example. Haha.
Spending the past 3 days out with Jeff, i realise that it is so difficult to come out and arrange for a meet up. Factors like my dear mum is one of them.
Anyway we went to catch Batman Begins yesterday. It was a tough decision to choose between Batman & Fantastic 4. So we came up with this brilliant idea of..scissors paper stone. We actually did that right in front of the ticket box...childish but a great solver. We settled eventually on Batman.
Thought that show has been screened weeks ago, surprisingly there is still quite alot of people. Moreover, its 2pm on a weekday. Dont these people have to work?? Jeff had a off day cuz he was sick. Not in the flu n fever kind of way, but in the coughing-non-stop kinda way.
Driving starts today cuz i finally..finally passed my advanced theory. Phew!!! Thank God. And well, the thought of having to take 1.5hr of ride to NTU scares me. I cant wait for my time table to be out so that i can plan out my time.

Throughout camp, many people revolved around this 'game' called traffic light. its a more subtle way of asking your status.
Green: Single
Amber: Between single & Attached
Red: Attached
And apparently alot of people preferred to say they are of Amber rather than Red.
Hmm is there so many uncertainty? We have come to this point whereby we no longer am sure how strong the realtionship is.
But there are girls in my group who are really 'red'. Especially this ger pal who is so devoted and really...having her bf placed in first piority. For example during the SP nite, she actually dont wanna make up and dress to the tops cuz shesay it dosent matter as wad matters is that her bf likes the way she is. Wow. I was like..stunned. Respectful in a way.
Couple hood has blossomed in my group. Thats what a 5 day camp can do for you.
Relationship can start and end as fast you can think.

Why think so much when what it is impt now is to enjoy whilst it last.

Suddenly got off the habit of blogging. Probably ue to the fact that i am no longer working. So this mornin, i had dutifully woken up early to post some pics online!! ^^ Of cuz..camp pics.



First Morning after Breakfast where everyone absolutely has no idea who each other was. But good idea to take a pic cuz you can see the closeness of the group after several pics. Compare this with the last day ones!



My face damm small. I think in every pic to come. My face shall be inignificant! *Sob Sob* Anyway this was taken on the first day whereby we played a game of having to rearrange ourselves on the chairs. Without falling off or wad. I was damm scared lo..cuz the chair super wobbly. Me not super light u know. Lolx!

The ppl in blue tees are my OGLs. First row - ones in black and yellow are the Senior Attached to the group. I have great looking leaders eh? =p



First night. After coming back from Yio Chu Kang Cemetry. Doing some dance call the "Monkey, Gorilla, Chimpanzee" Me of cuz was the gorilla row. Think te Chimpanzee ones damm funny. Anyway it goes like this in a song..and we have to stand up and do the actions when our 'names' are called. 2 am in the mornin doing this. Not fun u know!



2nd day- Pool games. Which has absoluetly nuthin to do with me. I know nuts about the water.

Macho pics of my leaders striking man hunt poses. The one the left is Herold and the one on the right is Kenny! I think Kenny resembles Jeff wang but the others prefer to think of him as Sun WuKong. Eh?




3rd Day- Sentosa!!! Yup all dressed in blue tank except me. No worries, i came late so i wearing it b4 the games start. I know its abit out of the picture but..ignore thatt!!! See the flag behind?? That spells out ' SALSA'!!! ^^



"Oh it was sad..oh it was sad..oh it was sad when the big ship went down to the bottom..all the husbands and wives and their children lost their lives. O it was sad when the big ship went down...."
Learnt this song which is damm cute lo! So we did the sad sad actions while the guys are being buried. Hee...



Look super spastic in this pic!!! =/ Didnt reallly like water but i eventually went down cuz it was damm hot in the day time!!!



This is the only pic i have that remind me of the 4th day events. Amazing Race. At the background its bloddy obvious its a train where we had to rush down to whatever places next. This two guys- Ying Hong & herold. They look chiong-ish yeah? But they damm shy when it comes to dancing. yingHong is this self declared blur dancer and seeing him trying to shake along in the dance floor was damm cute lo!!




Secret Partner Nite - B4 it starts, everyone gathers in Hall for a pic!



SP nite ends- In the funtion Hall of Nanyang Auditorium. Additions: Many more flowers!



Last Day: All wanting to go home....ok la..not all. Speaking for myself. =p

Today there will be the group dinner gathering! Lucky at city hall..*phew*

I realise Jordan already deleted his blog. Sighhh...there goes one of my fave read! One week fo camp and so much has changed??? =/

BACK

Camp INSINYUR

OG: Salsa

Finally i am back from the long 6 days 5 night camp. Damm tired!!!

Camp started on the 4th of July and we gathered 830am at Boon Lay MRT. Ice breakers followed by breakfast at Macs. Boon lay is damm far from my place. almost took me 1 hour in total to get there. Anyway looking round at my group, most of them are going to take Common engin. There are 3 girls taking Envt Engineering, includign me! Then we learned some cheers..Esp the Funky Chicken Dance. Waaa liao..damm funny lo!!! And so paiseh..cuz we did it in full light of all passer bys. The First day was basically lots of ice breakers. And oo we actually had a assigned partner. Haha...and mine was actually the cutest guy in the group. I dont really find him cute. Well my taste is different i guess. Anyway we had this game played around school whereby you had to go through water bombs and many other stations. Getting yourself damm wet!!! First night slpt at 2 am. Its considered the earliest..looking back.

Second day was Pool games and telematches. I wenthome and sleep...so there wasnt much for me to join in. But my group, lost quite a number of games and events.

Third day was held at Sentosa, Siloso Beach. Damm nice. The most Xiong thign which i can remmber is actually this game called " Muah Chee". It was actually a forfeit for the Juniors requested by the Seniors.

Imagine, 130 of us lying in a row along the sandy beach. At one end, each will slowwly turn and turn over each and everybosy continued by the next one and so on until everyone turned over 130 bodies. It ight sound alright but the seniors were kicking and putting sand on us and spraying water. Damm dirrty! And parts where u raise up head and see super XL ppl rollign your way. *Ouuuch* your back can really hurt! Heee...

Fourth day was the Initiation into NTU. From 8pm onwards. Blindfolded and brought round stations. There were parts where they had a sketch and ask people to read it out. Hilarious, at our expense. Blindfolded are we, and so we had to hold on the the person in front of us. Alternate girl and guys, my hand damm shacked cuz the one in front of me damm tall. In total, we played games - blindfolded. to cut the story short, it was hours of games BLINDFOLDED. =/ By the time we finished. it was already 6am in the morning. ERGHHHH.....dammm tiring!!

5th day is the SP nite. SP for Secret partner. Thruout camp, there wil be this assigned person writing notes to you. That night, the identity of your SP wil be revealed.And well, i saw my SP and his gift was a ballon flower. Damm nice. So retro night was held in Nanyang Auditorium with buffet dnner and other programes.

After dinner there was this In house DJ who played sucky dance tracks. Machiam like Sparks. So we asked the DJ to play RnB tracks. Like so little. Dance until sian. Jugs of Vodka was passed round. There was this frink think is like 'Graveyard' kinda thing, bitter like stout but yet sparkling.

Oooo there was this OGL who danced and was drunk, starting kissin this programmer. Woohoo..damm obvious cuz dance floor super emtpy. No thanks to the sucky DJ. Anyway we were shocked cuz she like grabbing him and started frenching. Wahhh liaooo....nice show. lolx

Basically slept in cab. Slept from noon till now. Freakign tired. Freaking hungry!

Shall upload pics when i get them!! ^^