it isnt that easy to be able to find the right amount of time, the right enought content, the right moment of the day to blog. And well i guess today is nto such a day because i have decided to skip tomorrows lectures that gotten a big "Huhhh?" from my mother.

Its fine to go to school tomorrow if i am anyway near the school. But no, i am across the island so it kinda make goign to school for that one hour not worth it.
But lets not get into the argument of whether it is worth it or not.
I have decided to sleep till the time changes from am to pm.

Had a computing CA today which erm..was like i jsut copy+paste in a bunch of crap. Hope the nice teacher would give me like a pass.

Gotten my maths CA back and i think i got 2 ticks. Hahah better than the previous attempt. terrible. He didnt even bother to mark.

I have a chemistry test coming up! *bites nails* Chemistry = scary.

Yap as started her stay for the sake of staying in hall 12 which is extremely near to ro. lolx. Very near can bring about alot of things. I guess i just need to sit back, relax and see drama unfold. lolx.

Not very possible for sumthing like that to happen for me cuz i dont and probably wont and probably never stay in halls.

One month is a short time you know. Now then i realised. It always happen like that.

When you start realising that the end is kinda near, you kinda feel that time flies. Very fast.

Too fast. So fast that i am scared. No kidding girls, i really am.

Plans were made a long time ago, the last tiem i told you girls was quite long. But i guess, you would somehow realise that things are already not the same.

3 years is not a short time.

girl meets boy. boy was once quiet but that night, they have lots to laugh and joke about.boy listens and pays attention to what girls says. girl feels good becuas it has been ages since she experience that kind of joy. And with all the teasing around, boy and girl acts normal. but girl thinks that it was just great.

shor and sweet.

I guess good thins are always short. Especially when you just realise that maybe its not so worth it to let history repeat itself.

everything was rosy before. and look what it become?

Yesterday during RCIA. Something happen which i never see beofre. We were going through this 3 weeks (till good friday) a period call the Scrutiny. As u can interpret from the word, it means to really look inside you and find out things you never spent time to find out.

Dominic our cathechist ( those that teach us), as usual planned out the evening's scrutiny. The back drop music, the words on the screen and his melodious voice. I tell you, he has the best wales accent ever! I hardly find a singaporean with his articulation. Anyway yesterdays theme is to really search your heart and reflect on the sins that you have. The things you do that you cant let anybody know. Not even your closest family, spouse or good friends.

I admit i do have. And honestly, i know there are, but i usually put them aside. I mean if you keep thinkin they are wrong, you wouldnt have kept on doing it. Anyway after the reflection, we had the benediction by the priest. Benediction is something that is done with great seriousness. Because it represents the true presenceof God. ANyway the thing is we had to kneel down and recite hymns and the priest would carry the Blesses Sacrement to bless us. And when Dom asked us to get up and back to our seat, the woman next to me was still kneeling.

And she didnt get up. Little sound started coming out from her. And it sounded louder. And she started bursting into tears. Not those "Boo hoo" kind, but heart breaking tears. No kidding. Then after a few seconds, she fell to the floor and started sobbing. Ursela (another cathechist) carried her in her arms and started praying. We call this a situation whereby she is touched by the holy spirit. People might htink she is possessed but its not the same!

It occurs because i think she really has alot of burden and up to the point when Dom was saying that all those sins that we have, the burdens we carry, those that we cant share it with anyone else, God is willing to accept you. Faults and faultless. Because it is only He, that will look at you, not minding your faults. And i guess thats when she broke down. Sigh. It touched me alot you know.

Went JB today and di my hair. Wanted to dye and everything. BUt realise that before that i first need to rebond it! Worth the money. But 5 hours on the hairdressers chair was terrible. My butt ached like never before.

Anyway gonna do the effective comm project this sunday. Dignified is going to be there. After the lab session, i realise that he is so evil. I mean i really cant fathom what he is thinkin. Its like his actions, his appearance is so different from what he really is.

Say the aussie guy again. Haha. He told me that he is gonna be the teachers pet. I guess its his accent which is why the prof wants him to answer her questions. I wonder how weird it is to do the presentation together. Haven asked him yet.

He clubs quite alot during his stay so far in Sg. We were talking in lecture the other time and he told me that he lves to play golf. Almost professionally if not for his Uni studies. He must be rich then. But he is not fair skinned. More like..mized kind. parrot was telling me that well, we would only like these kinda guys in the past. I mean it true, he might be great and all, but i think he absolutely believes in one night stands. Arhh...interesting!

Mr green is officially attached.

PARROT is still so infatuaited with T.me. lolx.. but i realise something~ better steer clear of people like that. I canot stand such people any longer. Its like, they are nice and all, but you honestly dunno what they think. Shy at first. Then eccentric.

I realise that being single gives you more time to really observe what you have missed out. What is important to you long ago is back being important already. I dont need relationshipps now. I just need love in the future.

Its really weird when i stop myself from giving out my msn. not that i am this ant i social pig who thihnks that msn is only reserved for people that i knwo very very well. Often u will be surprised that people u chat online are people whom are just acquintance like. Its like during the holidays, i haven been talkin to this fren of mine for liek years. And suddenly we were hcattin on msn everyday. thats when our frenship took a turn! So cheers to msn.

Anyway back to what i was saying...i was surprised when a grp member of mien actually has that aussie's msn! And i was like " Hey why dont i know u have msn.?" And he was like " Oh u didnt give me yours!". Arhh yupx. becuz of the awfully childish email addy.

I know i should have changed it. I mean which 20yr old goes about the nick " Strewberry cheesecake?"- None.

Except me though. And the thing is i dont like cheesecake at all. Maybe abite once in a while. but i would never ever manage to finish a slice. Thought i am a glutton. A picky one no less.

Thats what my church people say. I have lots to say when it its time to pick a place for lunch. I cant help it you know.

many tutorials more to rush. And off cuz many wasted lectures to make up for. And of cuz, one more oral presentation to go. And many more chances to see dignified.

When u are so overwhelmed with things...what do you do?

Throw them aside?

I cant. They are sticking to me like a leech.

tomato is crazy about a new guy again. not yellow slippers i.e blondie. But this time it is this guy who looks kinda ccute but is super shy. Tooo shy and has a weird orange fren. lolx. Yeah!

And well dignified was realli cute today. Hahah. I mean like...cute lo. What else do i need to say?

Its been ages since i really got my mind sort out to write what has been going on. For so long, i always thought penning down my thoughts was easy. It used to be easy because i knew what i was mad about, i knew what i am upset about i knew what i disagreed about.

But after a while, it dosent seem to be the case. So what if i know how to bring my feelings across? i no longer know what they were anymore. Its like my thoughts in going in corkscrew ride routine.

After the huge incident, i was almost that close to throwing everything away. My hard work. My efforts. My sacrifices.

Like i said, almost.

I didnt. I mean it was kinda hard to comphrehend whysomeone would do that to me. Did i not make myself clear. Did i not put it plainly that if you give me as much as a lie the next time, i would walk stright out of all these crap?

Apparenntly some people just dont liek listening to me. Or isit me not being loud enough? i remmbered screaming down the phone. Am very pissed.

I was also when it happened recently again. When i came to know about what happened, i was way beyong shocked. I was more of ... ' Inhale exhale, start daydreaming about some other people.' i was trying to keep my cool. But let me tell you, never tell yourself to keep cool cuz that pisses you more. Much more. And of cuz, when he called, i started being th eusual dawn, scolding and trying to be snide and sacarstic at the same time. For lets say about 20 minutes. blaring out liek a drill commander. I cant stop. And i didnt wanna stop. He didnt have the chance to ask me to stop cuz i told him simply that YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO TALK. he did keep quiet. Until i went a teeny bit too far and start screaming abt eveyrthing that i know.

it felt so good to be the loud one this time. But it didnt feel good after the truth sank in. He did lie. Afterall.

I keep tellign myself that all thiscrap has to go a few more weeks. After that, probably everythign will disappear. Not turn aroudn for the better. But as in vanish. Its better isnt it?

I mean, it is better for him to get out of my sight? Woudl the problem be solved. Or are we going to do all this quarelling over the continent? Australia is not far. But it is far enough. In Sg, it already proves too much to bear.


talking abt Australia, the aussie guy from my group is absolutely dashing. Hahah whenever he starts conversation with how are you, definitely blows me away. Finally 2 project done, and now new ones start popping up.

Oral presentation to be handed up in 2 weeks tiem and we just got our assignment today! But there is just one good thing comin gout from it, the absolutely cute (another one la) guy is in my group. yes! Get that!! He looks like Tay Ping Hui ok! Yes he does. And well, screw is burms ensemble. He still look good. He is my Mr. Dignified!