Expired

had ice cream, mos burger and a long walk back home. with someone who is at the same 'place' as me. and we begin talking and realise that somehow we are all similar. not for the best reasons but we are. sadly.

i never feared confrontation. but i hated spite. i hate to be threatened. i told juan that somehow i think my expiry date is up. and when someone thinks that i can be spite at, you are so wrong. its always around this time of the year, someone popping up all of a sudden and you felt like you had to make a decision. but many a times i dont. things just happen in such a way that evrything plans out really great for me. and i can feel it coming. i can. really. and i do not have to do a thing. its a double edged sword really. because does it means the next time round will be better. i think it will.

its just sucks basically thinking to yourself that, hey! this time will be different. nah~ its all the same. they are all the same. ill always be the same.

my ttachment is really ending soon. and it saddens me because i went thru a huge change and now i have to adjust back. vince says he will write a letter for me to continue my IA and not go for intersem. very very tempting really. but these few days i just dread it. i dont want to turn my head and scowl because i see a scene i dont like. i dont want to feel very happy within that 3 seconds and down after that.

was chatting and juan says she wish to have someone to admire about. yeah thats always the best time isnt it? my best bud is seeign someone recently and i am very happy for him. no matter or not if he is going to get attached, i am still happy nonetheless. even if that means ill have one less person to comfort me when i am down. sigh. i am looking forward to end of next week. what will i get?

seeign double

the feeling sucks. how is it that you can just go through everything thinking about the same thing and yet you know that it is wrong. so so wrong. as much as i try to shut my eyes and let my thoughts shift to something that i should be thinking of..it wanders back.
it is so bad until you play the songs over and over again. every songs then holds the same meaning. different lyrics- same meaning. so so blind.

Time flies and it has been almost 6 months up since i started work. and soon, will leave. busy finding out what gifts i can give to my colleagues. i dont relaly like small useless gift becuz there is no impact. am thinking of making parker engraved pen for the higher up ones..and proobably personalised notebooks for the rest.

for what? i dunno. i like things to be such a way whereby i can step off gracefully.

i told qing i wanna extend my attachment. not for the proudest of reasons but in any case, it might also work towards my post graduation...

sigh seriosuly going nuts.

how to ppl lead a double life? much less have a double mind?